{"contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"grainnebyrne"}

Ask "My Mother's Garden" filmmaker, Cynthia Lester, your questions.

News Type: Event — Tue Mar 31, 2009 5:04 PM EDT

msnbc, mental-health, anxiety, clean, cleaning, organization, organizing, ocd, hoarding, obsessive-compulsive, doc-block, hoarders, hoarding-disorder, cynthia-lester, children-of-compulsive-hoarders, compulsive-hoarders

Grainne Byrne

MSNBC Films presents "My Mother's Garden," the story of 61-year-old Eugenia Lester, whose hoarding disorder pushed her children to leave home when they were quite young. Cynthia Lester was 13 when she left, unable to find a place to sleep in the house amidst all of the garbage. Filmmaking became a way for her to cope with her mother's condition. When "My Mother's Garden" begins, Eugenia's hoarding disorder has taken a life-threatening turn. On a quiet, suburban street in Granada Hills, California, Eugenia lives among piles of debris, rotting garbage, stacks of newspaper, dead rats; a mass of waste that has literally pushed her out of her house and into her garden. Upon learning that Eugenia is in danger of losing her home for violating city health codes, her children step in. This one-hour film is directed by Cynthia Lester, Eugenia's daughter, who documents her mother's compulsive disorder and the way in which one family comes together to cope with a mental illness that affects millions.

"My Mother's Garden" airs Sunday, May 10th at 6 PM ET on MSNBC. Check your local listings for additional airings.

Please see a letter from Cynthia below and leave her your questions or comments. She will be logging in to Newsvine periodically to respond. View a previous Q&A with Cynthia here.

Check out the exclusive web preview here and visit mymothersgarden.msnbc.com for more web extras.

********************

Dear Viewers,

Thank you for your support and I hope you enjoy the MSNBC presentation of my film, "My Mother's Garden." If you have been affected by the subject matter in this film and have questions, I would like to provide you with answers to any issues this film has brought to light.

Please leave me any of your questions and comments here on this Newsvine article and I will do my best to answer them.

"My Mother's Garden" documents how one family comes together to cope with their mother's hoarding disorder and to rebuild a lost sense of family.

In deciding to make this film, I wanted to get to know my mother and what was ailing her from functioning day to day in a healthy way. When I began the documentation process, I was unaware of compulsive hoarding disorder and it was through observing my mom's daily routine that I discovered the manifestation of a disorder shared by millions of Americans and families globally. As I began to research and learn more about this disorder, my focus shifted towards trying to find her treatment and professional help that would hopefully lessen the damages this disorder has had on her ability to sustain a functioning quality of life.

My personal journey through this documentary was necessary to heal the wounds of abandonment, isolation, and dependency that are often present in a child raised by a parent with a persistent mental illness. Though my brothers and I are now adults, we all feel a deep need for a stabilizing center for our family, a permanent place to call home. This longing for stability has caused disorder in our lives both socially and emotionally.

Through this documentary, I am applying my experience in social work, art therapy, and filmmaking to my own family. I hope that the film can be therapeutic as well as a creative work of art that will help bring awareness to the issue of mental illness and also reach others who are sympathetic to this subject matter.

You can read more about my film at mymothersgardenmovie.com.

Please visit these organizations on their websites for additional information and support if you or someone you know may be suffering from obsessive-compulsive hoarding disorder.

Children of Compulsive Hoarders
www.childrenofhoarders.com

The Obsessive Compulsive Foundation
www.ocfoundation.org

National Alliance on Mental Illness
www.nami.org

National Association of Professional Organizers
www.napo.net

Orange County Health Information
http://www.ochealthinfo.com/behavioral/amhs/hoarding.htm

UCLA Semel Institute Anxiety Disorders Program
http://www.semel.ucla.edu/adc/

Anxiety Disorders Association of America www.adaa.org
www.treatocd.org

Sincerely,
Cynthia Lester
Director
"My Mother's Garden"

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{"commentId":6258618,"authorDomain":"karensweetland"}

Karen-1004232

Cynthia -

You just told my story on national television! I am in awe of you. My family basically disintegrated as a result of my mother's illness. My parents finally divorced and my sister and I went to live with my father as a result of the hoarding. I don't speak to my mother any longer, you handled your situation with far more courage than I. As a child I was never allowed to have friends over (of course when I was older I was far too embarassed to invite anyone anyhow). As an adult, she made excuses at times and at others was sad that we never came to visit. I've given up hope of her recovering as she has no desire to get well, but coming to understand the disorder has definitely given me a sense of peace. It is still not well understood or publicized, and as a child I had absolutely no idea what was wrong.

Congrats in your success, and thank you for giving a voice to the cause.

{"commentId":6258618,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"karensweetland"}

1 vote

#1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 8:29 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259018,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Hi Karen,

wow, yes its nice to know I wasn't growing up alone! It's so hard to keep a family together when mental illness creeps in and takes over, its a long battle. Most important thing is to make sure you are healthy and strong so you can end the cycle and enjoy life and promote happiness. Good luck to you on your journey, we are in this together so reach out to other fellow survivors on childrenofhoarders.com. Take Care, Cynthia

{"commentId":6259018,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#1.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:04 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259094,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Hi karen,

Thank you for sharing you story too, It's good to know we are not alone, right? It's not easy keeping a family together when mental illness creeps in and takes over. The most important thing to remember is to take care of yourself so you can give back to your community and maybe help others struggling with this same disorder. It's a long journey to creating happiness in our homes, but your not alone. Take Care, Cynthia

{"commentId":6259094,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

1 vote

#1.2 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:11 AM EDT

{"commentId":6334983,"authorDomain":"violetmelody"}

violet-1012743

Dear Cynthia, I am a fifth generation hoarder, it runs on both sides of my family. As a child, I was subjected to various forms of abuse, including not being given the basic things I needed, like proper clothing or even toys. As an adult, I have many physical medical problems that have triggered boughts of depression. The worse the depression, the more I tend to gather things. I never knew this was a recognized disorder. I would like to find out how to deal with this to prevent a sixth generation. BTW, it was interesting to me that your mom is from Poland. So is my whole family and many, including my mom, were caught up in the war. They had nothing and eventually ended up in a prison work camp. My father's family had problems during the Great Depression. Hoarding has been handed down as a way to keep safe from need. Thanks so much for this documentary.

{"commentId":6334983,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"violetmelody"}

1 vote

#1.3 - Mon Apr 6, 2009 4:57 AM EDT

{"commentId":7206517,"authorDomain":"wallemalemon"}

lovetrust

to keep safe from need

(Violet, from your comment;)

Is that it? ...there's a value placed on things...not that you need or want them so much, it's just that they're still perfectly...potentially useful, given the right set of circumstances, you can save a buck or two...make a buck or two...

{"commentId":7206517,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"wallemalemon"}

#1.4 - Thu May 21, 2009 10:48 AM EDT

{"commentId":6258633,"authorDomain":"LTMinnie"}

LTMinnie

Thank you for your presentation on the Today Show.

I just found out that I am not alone.........

I am in the process of doing this with my 91 y/o mother.

She lives in a small apt. and much like your mother, would not let anyone in.

Only in the last 6 mos. or so has she decided that she needs help. I am the only one in the area in a position to help her. I have found it very difficult to deal with the problems you mentioned.....her not wanting to part with anything and trying to convince her it is best.

We have now secured a storage area for her to put the things she can't part with, but she still throws roadblocks in the way of success, such as, not today, or I have to do something else...etc, etc. I do not want to disable her sense of independence as I feel that this would not be a good thing for her.......but yet.....trying to cope with that and the necessity to make things better, I seem to be in a vicious circle.

I myself am 68, and have found that this has taken a toll on me as well. I am currently on anti-depressants, something which I never thought I would need.

I have contacted our local Elder Care agency for help, but it seems to be a slow process.

Do you have any answers for me?

Florida

{"commentId":6258633,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"LTMinnie"}

1 vote

#2 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 8:30 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259733,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Hi Florida,

It is sad that this disorder often times doesn'tget recognized until the senior years or later in life, but there should be funds allocated through elder care to help deal with this disorder. Yes, it is a very slow process, I would try to be realistic and set a long term timetable for the process. I am not an expert on this disorder, I would turn to Dr. Tolin's book for day to day help or research on the childrenofhoarders.com website for for additional resources. Hopefully you can find a compulsive hoarding/ anxiety disorder intensive treatment program in your area, they seem to understand the issue the best.

I hope the screening this Sunday night at 10pm on MSNBC will provide more insight for you and help you feel not so alone. Take Care, Cynthia

{"commentId":6259733,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#2.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:55 AM EDT

{"commentId":6258654,"authorDomain":"beklear"}

Michael David

Hi Cynthia,

Hope all is well. Great segment with you and your mom. I lost my mother in 1984 and recently lost my dad in 2007. As a single male, I find myself holding on to items that try to fill the void of losing a them. My mother had good taste in things and I find myself going to thrift stores or simply accumulating things to the point of being overwhelmed. I know nothing will ever fill the void but at least the one good thing is that your mom is still with you. I'm sure your mom will be ok with the love of family in due time. It will be more spiritual than medical that will make her better. Don't let the medical community pump her fill of drugs to help her. It will make her toxic and compound the issue. I look forward to watching the film.

Regards,

Michael

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#3 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 8:33 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259865,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Thank you for you support Michael. I do agree my Mom's spiritual path has helped her cope and given her strength in dealing with the difficulties life has thrown her way.

I also don't believe in just medicating someone, this disorder needs comprehensive treatment combining therapy, organizational skill building, and yes, when there are other psychological issues present, medication may be necessary.

Hopefully this film will help raise awareness about hoarding disorder and create sensitivity to people struggling with it. I want people to realize there is a loving person behind the disorder.

Thanks again for your support, I hope you tune in Sunday.

{"commentId":6259865,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#3.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:04 AM EDT

{"commentId":6292532,"authorDomain":"brdlbrnt"}

Denise-1007041

I also love to find pretty things and look at them and paint them and fix them up. People judge me but I love to collect things I love to fix up or give away or decorate. I am also overwhelmed but I believe that because I give out a lot, it comes back to me and the Lord shows me where to find great valuable things for free. I hope when I die all my valuables are either sold or given to children or friends who appricate them. I pray all the time for God to send me helping hands to organize it all and help me also to haul it to the flea Market so I can benifit from some money since I can sure use it right now.

{"commentId":6292532,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"brdlbrnt"}

#3.2 - Fri Apr 3, 2009 2:25 AM EDT

{"commentId":6258760,"authorDomain":"jeannecavanaugh1"}

Jeanne-1004245

I just want to thank you for this story which needed to be told. You did so in such a touching way, and have taken some of the stigma out of this horrible disorder. Do you have a web site?

{"commentId":6258760,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"jeannecavanaugh1"}

1 vote

#4 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 8:41 AM EDT

{"commentId":6263222,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Thank you, I appreciate your sentiments. My Mom is the true brave one I will send her support.

Yes, you can look for more info on the film at mymothersgardenmovie.com

{"commentId":6263222,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#4.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 1:02 PM EDT

{"commentId":6258906,"authorDomain":"donacqv"}

Donna-1004257

I have a friend who has been hoarding for many years. It is always so disturbing if I happen to go to her apartment for one reason or another and the images of what her place looks like stays with me for quite some time. At first I would ask what is wrong with her and offered to buy a couple of boxes of hefty bags (50 per box!) to help her clean it out but she never seemed to want to take me up on the offer. I tried suggesting just throw out 3 pieces a day and 3 newspapers or papers on the tables out and she will see big results in a month. She assured me over and over it was coming along yet when I happened to stop over there to drop off something after a year's time it was exactly the same. Very disturbing to see. I called her this morning and she was not aware she is ocd but it makes sense along with not being able to make decisions. I am grateful to be able to offer her the information and told her of the film. Best of Luck and Thank you!

{"commentId":6258906,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"donacqv"}

#5 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 8:54 AM EDT

{"commentId":6264009,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Thank you Donna!

Yes, it takes lots of patience and time, help your friend by starting with where she is at. Of course my film is only a slice into our family's long journey, and we still have a long way to go before getting my mom to a better place. Again, I am not an expert but I believe compulsive hoarding is categorized as a subset of OCD and is related but requires different treatment. I would suggest going to the childrenofhoarders.com website and looking up treatment centers in your area and seeking professional help when trying to assist a loved one with getting help. They also have handy note cards you can print out to give your friend for helpful reminders and tips to help encourage her not to give up or get over whelmed during the process.

hope this helps! Take Care, Cynthia

{"commentId":6264009,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#5.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 1:40 PM EDT

{"commentId":6259315,"authorDomain":"littleugh"}

Judy-1004289

Dear Cynthia,

Is there a difference between disorganzation and laziness then hording? I know that not having a lot of money to just go out and buy something when I need it, I put stuff away just in case I need it for later. I might never touch it again, but just in case. Is that hording? My mother does the same thing.

{"commentId":6259315,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"littleugh"}

#6 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:28 AM EDT

{"commentId":6261563,"authorDomain":"amy-doyle-1"}

Amy DoyleDeleted

{"commentId":6280912,"authorDomain":"slpa-colorado-1"}

naanaa

I think there is a difference. Read "The Messie's Manual". You can find it on the internet. Great book. There is a difference between disorganization and being overwhelmed with the job and laziness. Perfectionist would do it perfectly and so because the job seems to big, they are overwhelmed and don't start. This is different than an actual mental illness.

{"commentId":6280912,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"slpa-colorado-1"}

#6.2 - Thu Apr 2, 2009 12:39 PM EDT

{"commentId":6259432,"authorDomain":"milner"}

Char-1004301

I just wanted to share how couragous I think you're documentary is. I have a father that has this condition. He filled 10 acres & a house with his "treasures", then the house burned down. He started over in a mobile home & every building was filled too. It burned down years later. I have the property now & am in the process of trying to clean it up. He has retired & started over on new property which is moving in the same direction as the old. As children we tried to clean everything out & could move up to 3 truck loads of stuff without him knowing. We also have cleaned out everything & organized the mess with the same results as your mother portrayed. He was mad at us & acted devestated that we would do that to him. Our take on the collecting was that the stuff would never tell him "no" or leave him alone. I am glad to know we were not alone & that there is help out there. Thank-you

{"commentId":6259432,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"milner"}

#7 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:36 AM EDT

{"commentId":6284440,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Yes, it is a very frustrating predicament to be in when you are a family member of someone who collects compulsively. The clean-out method we chose is not one that is recommended and can be highly dangerous. I want to make that clear that we don't try and promote this method. For us, it was a last resort. i hope that first responders and local mental health facilities can become more equipped to help deal with this disorder so that we don't have to feel like we have to do it on our own. Thank you, Cynthia

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#7.1 - Thu Apr 2, 2009 3:39 PM EDT

{"commentId":6259450,"authorDomain":"auntie"}

Joanne Cotton

"I feel your pain", not many can understand the horrible power this illness has and the destuctiveness it causes. My sister has an extreme case of hoarding. She lived in the house that my father grew up in, with her husband and two children. First, her husband left (he took the easy way out), and went far away to Florida. After we (who live a block away), were finally allowed into the house and found the squalor the kids were living in we tried to intervene. After a very tumultuous few years, and my trying to find help (BU hoarding team, Dr Frost, Dr Tolin) we ended up with DSS removing the children and they lied with us. Many years later, I still have one of her children and the other we lost to his dad through a very sad and poorly handled court case. I have given up most of my life to try to keep a very broken family somewhat "whole". We were forced to evict my sister since she refuses help. I tried to save face for my sister and family by keeping this as quiet as possible, I think there should be ways for those put into the caretaker role to get more help for the mentally ill.We (my 83 year old parents and my very small family filled many dumpster and donated 100s of dollars of stuff, not to mention the financial burden we have as well. There is very little help for the suffers of this disease and by that I mean those who must make the difficult choices of how to help those that refuse to be helped and watch those you have loved and are your family suffer so much. Every day is an uphill battle, I am always trying to find someone to help anyone of the many family members that have been affected by this terrible storm and been left in it's mass wake of destruction. When I am less exhausted I hope that I can help anyone that needs help with this, for now I try to give my own children and my niece the best I can!

{"commentId":6259450,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"auntie"}

1 vote

#8 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:38 AM EDT

{"commentId":6284613,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Dear Joanne,

Your dedication to your family amazes me, thank you for saving your sisters kids. My Mom always wanted the best for us and tried to provide it, I believe maybe your sister feels the same way and is happy that her kids are well taken care of. We left home because of the chaos but we never forgot our mothers love for us, its not her fault that this is a debilitating disorder. When she has her good days, I hope that we can one day get her more balanced and see more of the good then the bad. Take Care, Cynthia

{"commentId":6284613,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

1 vote

#8.1 - Thu Apr 2, 2009 3:47 PM EDT

{"commentId":6259473,"authorDomain":"stephanie-11"}

Stephanie Thomopoulos, BCD, President of the Mid-Atlantic Chapter of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers

Excellent story! I am putting together a Newsletter for our Chapter, which comes out in one month on OCD, specifically Hoarding. I will feature your story in the newsletter. If you have any other resources, please let me know.

Professional Geriatric Care Managers specialize in the assistance and treatment of people with OCD, especially hoarding behavior(among many other issues) It is worth mentioning that there IS help. See for more information.

{"commentId":6259473,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"stephanie-11"}

1 vote

#9 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:39 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259609,"authorDomain":"sean-16"}

S. Johnson-1004325

Hi Cynthia - I watched your story and really feel for you and your family. It is a very difficult situation. However, I was surprised to hear that you felt that there was no help out there from the community. I am a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers (www.napo.net). Though I don't personally handle these severe cases, there ARE qualified and capable organizers out there that work alongside doctors/therapists and family members to help individuals who suffer from hoarding. An organizer who specializes in hoarding can really assist and reduce the stress level of such a daunting project for the family.

I commend you and your siblings for taking-on such a difficult task and do hope that your mother is doing better despite the traumatic change in her life. Best of luck to you all.

Sincerely,

S. Johnson

{"commentId":6259609,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"sean-16"}

#10 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:48 AM EDT

{"commentId":6262013,"authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

Tamara H

S. Johnson,

I also was unable to find community resources in Sun Valley, Nevada; for my mother. What I was told was that I would have to declare her incompetent. Can you direct me to an agency that offers resources to such a situation in my mothers area?

Thank You,

Tamara

{"commentId":6262013,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

#10.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 12:02 PM EDT

{"commentId":6355771,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Dear S. Johnson,

Yes, there are professional organizers and I have provided a link on the mymothersgarden.msnbc.com website to napo.net (national alliance of professional organizers) and actually after making the film and showing the film at conferences, I did meet with a wonderful lady Tammy Chalmers at Steri-Clean cleaners who specialize in crime scene cleaning and said she would help me and my mother. So Yes! there is help out there, I was referring to while making the film. the problem is a lot of these services are expensive and is not covered under insurance. My point is that if this is a debilitating disorder it should be covered to help those who are in need. So, I should be able to employ someone like Tammy through my moms insurance since she is receiving benefits for her mental illness, yet the insurance doesnt actually cover the services she needs for her mental illness.

I hope this helps clarify what I was trying to get across earlier. take care, cynthia

{"commentId":6355771,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#10.2 - Tue Apr 7, 2009 12:09 PM EDT

{"commentId":6259631,"authorDomain":"auntie"}

Joanne Cotton

"I feel your pain", we are a broken family left to wallow in the wake of this destuctive illness. I wish I had listened to frineds who told me to record this but was worried about exposing family in a small town, now everyone knows anyway and we are beat up and exhausted by this horrible disease. When I have more time I will tell the whole story and would be happy to help anyone who is trying to cope with and help someone they love deal with hoarding

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#11 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:49 AM EDT

{"commentId":6355986,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Thank you Joanne,

Everyone should know what a huge and daunting task lies ahead of them when trying to intervene, you should definitely be in a stable situation yourself, make sure you have support via therapist for yourself and the members involved. Do not try to tackle this disorder alone, it could be life threatening or more destructive than helpful so act cautiously. I do commend those of you who care enough and are able to try and help their friends or family who are struggling with hoarding, thank you again, Cynthia

{"commentId":6355986,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#11.1 - Tue Apr 7, 2009 12:18 PM EDT

{"commentId":6259641,"authorDomain":"kevinfwinton"}

kevin winton

I saw the Today Show 4-1-09. I was at work and walked by a tv. I almost starting crying. I sat and watched the show about your mother. It so close to my home life. My mother saved everything that came into the house. Every piece of mail ,grocery store bags. We lived in a 4 bedroom house and it was packed full. My mother is 85 now last year my sister and I moved her into a 2 bedroom apartment. We had to buy everything new because nothing was salvageable. My mother blames me and my sister for shape of the house. And said it was our fault the shape of the house. In her new apartment she is starting to save bills that she paid walmart bags. When she moved in the apartment she ask if she could keep 10 walmart bags. I have to throw away many things when I go over. It is amazing to me when you tell someome your story they don’t really get the true meaning of the hurt you have over how it is affected you. How have you delt with this life changing event? Where is you mother now? What treatment is she getting. I feel like sometimes I am moving on and my mother will fight over something that is in the house and it all comes back. We are trying to sell the house for the income and she is fighting me and my sister and wants to go over to the house and get things. Last summer we cleaned out the house it took 8 dumpsters to empty the house. My heart goes out to you and your family.

kevinfwinton@yahoo.com

Kevin

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1 vote

#12 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:50 AM EDT

{"commentId":6261652,"authorDomain":"johnecheck"}

Colette-1004489

Hello Kevin, my siblings and I are in the same situation with our mother. She is 82 and now living in an apartment for seniors. She has filled one house, one recreational vehicle (trailer home), one storage unit, and now is filling the apartment with all of her indispensable items. Her "overflow" also extends to her car, so that no one can ride in it with her. When she moved into the apartment we negotiated with her that she would keep her "stuff" at the old house and that way keep the apartment livable so that we, her children and grandchildren, could spend time with her and assist her with her needs. It is obvious that she cannot keep her part of the bargain. My younger sister and I try to clean her apartment at least one time per month. We are not allowed to remove anything. She tolerates us cleaning "around" the mess. Our cleaning causes her great anxiety and stress. If it goes on two long, say for more than an hour or two, she will lash out at us. Very unpleasant. All five of her children left home at early ages. We made poor life choices due to our need to escape the madness of our home-life. If we tried to clean or throw away anything in the home, we would later find our clothing and other belongings thrown out in the front yard. We would be told to "leave" home. So we did as soon as possilbe. Until his death in 2006, our courageous and loyal father stayed in the marriage even though every adult child at one time or another told him that it he left, not one of us would blame him. In fact, I for one encouraged him to do so. Ultimately, this "man of his word" had to move out to keep his sanity and spend his retirement years livinga seperate (yet connected life) with our mother. Before his retirement, he "worked" to escape from our insane home-life. He was just not there for us. I could go on and on, but it sounds like we have the same story to tell. What do we do? How do you help someone who does not want help? In fact, they hate you for offering it. The heartbreaking thing is that every one of us children know that our mother would choose her trash above us. It the life boat was sinking, it would be the trash first and family members last. In fact, it seems my mother has made that very choice every day of our lives and continues to do so. Yes, we know it is a mental illness and, therefore, not her choice. Still, hurts a whole lot. Before our father passed away from lung cancer, I am ashamed to say that I once said to him that he would be leaving "all of this mess with mother" for me to handle. He told me he was sorry for that. My mother's sickness has infected every relationship in our family. My father and I were so close and I am so sorry that I said such a thing to him in his last few weeks on this earth. Hurt and resentment toward my mother was/is something he and I both struggled with. Today I am grateful for Cynthia's story. Maybe there is hope and help out there? At my mothers age, I don't know if hope is possible. But, maybe her family can get help to learn to cope in healthy ways? Kevin, hang in there. You are not alone.

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#12.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 11:42 AM EDT

{"commentId":6307397,"authorDomain":"golfermom74"}

Kim Scher

I am the sister in this devastating process. Our mother's hoarding fragmented our family of four. My father told me in 1970 that he was leaving my mother. The only thing I could think of was please do not leave me in this, please take me with you. He stayed. In 1987 I had since married and was pregnant with my first child my father called and told me that he wanted to commit suicide to escape the mess. He did not. A year later again he called and asked if I would help him move to an apartment of his own. The answer was a resounding YES. He never did. My brother and I had lives of our own and the person that was abandoned was our father. He died in 1999 still living with our mother. The regrets that I have regarding my father are overwhelming. I wish that I could have facilitated his removal from the disastrous living conditions that my brother and I fled.

I hoped that emptying the family home would give me insight into the reasons for the saving of each item that became a source of divisiness in our family. My dear brother told me that there was no rhyme nor reason. He was right. As we filled each dumpster I was more and more angry over the "treasures" that created such unhappiness for my father, my brother and myself. I had not been in the family home in 18 years. I could not deal with the mess. When I went back to empty the house after moving my mother into an apartment (due to illness) I blamed myself at first for allowing my parent to live in this condition. Over the 18 years that I was not in the house we begged and pleaded for our mother to allow us to help her organize but to no avail.

As in the video clip our mother remembers how well taken care of we were and how well dressed we were but the hoarding makes those memories faint compared to the emotional roadblocks and hurt that came from the saving.

She resents the move, the emptying of the house and "her things" being thrown away. I understand the sadness that families feel and the loss of the sense of family that hoarding undermines.

Good comes from all things. My brother and I are closer than ever before. I have discovered a best friend in my brother and I am truly thankful for that. I have also befriended an aunt that I did not know growing up. She is now more than family, again I have gained a lifelong friend. In this long process I have lost a mother.

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1 vote

#12.2 - Fri Apr 3, 2009 7:41 PM EDT

{"commentId":6334562,"authorDomain":"lcmchenry"}

Lauren-1012646

Dear Kim,

I know exactly what you mean about your father. My mother was an extreme hoarder throughout my entire childhood, which put a lot of strain on my mom and dad's marriage. It wasn't until I was grown, that I found out that my father stayed with my mom mainly for the sake of me and my sister. To deal with the stress of living with her, he drank heavily. He died two years ago from liver failure. I feel guilt everyday that I did not do more to improve their quality of life, and also a lot of anger at my mother for pretty much driving him to an early grave so she could have her "treasures."

{"commentId":6334562,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"lcmchenry"}

1 vote

#12.3 - Mon Apr 6, 2009 2:24 AM EDT

{"commentId":6369236,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Dear Kevin, Kim, and Lauren

Thank you all for sharing your very personal stories. It's good to know that healthy discussion and support is being shared by all of you who can relate.

I am so glad i found childrenofhoarders.com which was just formed by two ladies who shared this need to raise awareness and its funny because its the most informative site out there, i think. so really you can make a difference just by sharing your stories and putting yourself out there.

thank you again. take care, cynthia

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#12.4 - Wed Apr 8, 2009 12:04 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259664,"authorDomain":"auntie"}

Joanne Cotton

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#13 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:51 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259684,"authorDomain":"bcsonneson"}

Brach

My mother is compulsive about hoarding. She treats what most people consider to be garbage as indispensable. Sometimes she admits to a sentimental attachment to items and other times she claims her purpose is to recycle. Many excuses later this illness has cost her dearly. Her hoarding was certainly one of the main issues that caused her marriage to crumble and has disabled her from dating at all in the last 14 years since. Even her children were distanced from her. Not long after her divorce all three of her kids made the decision to live with their father. The uncomfortable living conditions even spurred her kids to clean voluntarily. In most households this, ambitious and responsible, act would have been praised. In her house this was punished. All of us who love and care for her know that her issue is an illness. The suffering from this illness is comparable to any mental illness or addiction. She denies the problem, but is ashamed at the same time. This living condition and lifestyle is unhealthy for her and those around her. When I walk inside the pungent odor nauseates me. As I step over thigh high piles and through a path leading from the living room to the hallway, I catch an area of exposed carpet reminding me what color it is. Emotion overwhelms me as I seek the understanding why anyone would choose to live this way.

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#14 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 9:52 AM EDT

{"commentId":6262142,"authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

Tamara H

"You are not alone, neither am I,

We truly must Thank Cynthia, for the good cry!! "

It is heartbreaking and so hard to deal with the feelings of what to do and the guilt in what we do or do not do; every choice is uncomfortable. The emotions are so varied they are difficult to unravel, that is if you find the courage and time to do so. It has been over fifteen years that I have faced the truth and have begun the journey of helping if and when I can.

Just remember you are not alone. That is what I learned today.

Tamara

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#14.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 12:10 PM EDT

{"commentId":6265482,"authorDomain":"amy-doyle-1"}

Amy DoyleDeleted

{"commentId":6259816,"authorDomain":"johnandlindac"}

Linda-1004344

Thank you for bringing this condition to light. I grew up in a house where my mother kept her hoarding to corners and closets. When my siblings and I moved out and our father passed, the hoarding really came out. Every room was filled! There were small paths through some rooms others you couldn't even get to. We never knew it to be a medical condition. We would only think, "What is wrong with her that she wouldn't even throw away used tissues or old newspapers?" She became physically ill. I attribute it to the house. When she died in the house, she had to be removed on a tarp, because they couldn't get a gurney in the house. I will never forget that. It took my family and my sister's family six long months to clean the house. It was then, while we were cleaning that we realized that there must have been something more than just laziness or messy housekeeping. I wish we would have known sooner.

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#15 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:01 AM EDT

{"commentId":6259883,"authorDomain":"enike"}

Enike

Cynthia, this question isn't exactly on topic but I was wondering what nationality your mother is. When I was watching the Today Show this morning, the footage of her walking down the hallway distraught and then going in the bedroom and kneeling to the ground, I could have sworn she was Jesus Mary in Hungarian. Not that nationality affects mental illness but my mother was from Hungary and also both compulsively shopped and hourded. After she died alone in her home, we had to throw away at least a dumpster full of items, probably more.

Thank you for sharing your story with everyone. I hope it inspires people to get help for their loved ones.

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#16 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:05 AM EDT

{"commentId":6284751,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

We are Polish-American, Polish form my mom's side, I don't know my father so I don't know exactly what nationality we are from that side. If you watch the MSNBC version this Sunday night at 10pm, there is some back story about coming from Poland growing up during the war and her aunt who raised her who was interned in Auschwitz. It is interesting, I hope you enjoy.

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#16.1 - Thu Apr 2, 2009 3:53 PM EDT

{"commentId":6260061,"authorDomain":"samgogogo"}

Sam Go

Cynthia, the MSNBC and msnbc.com producers have posted more information and links in a separate page: http://mymothersgarden.msnbc.com

Thank you for sharing your story.

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#17 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:14 AM EDT

{"commentId":6260155,"authorDomain":"nehdesigns"}

Nancye24

Hi Cynthia,

Your segment on Today brought me to tears. I am still dealing with what I believe is the legacy of my mother's hoarding. When she sold her house in 1998, I offered to help her move. What I found when I arrived was beyond my wildest imagination. My mom, as a working artist. had always been a bit of a packrat saving "treasures" for future projects. What I found was way beyond that. There was trash & garbage mixed in everywhere and because of several roof leaks a lot of it was wet and moldy. In order to work in there I had to wear a respirator. It took me 3 weeks and five 15 c.y. construction dumpsters to empty the 2 bedroom house (and she kept enough to fill a 24' moving truck).

In your report you showed the bugs and talked of finding rats, but in my mom's case there was not a living thing in her house (in So. Florida). She had been setting off bug bombs and using insecticide spray on a regular basis for about 14 years. I believe this basically poisoned her. Within about 6 months of moving out of her house she developed symptoms of Parkinson's Disease. Her health has declined steadily from that time to the point that she is now, at age 73, wheelchair bound and living in a nursing care facility. I have spent over 4 months out of the last 16 months with my mom in the hospital. It has taken a tremendous psychological & financial toll on me to the point of being on the verge of losing my house.

All of this has taken a toll on my relationship with and my "view" of my mom. There have been many times when I have wished she had asked an outside agency to help her move. Not knowing would have made these last few years dealing with her declining health somewhat easier. I will say despite my anger and frustration with her, I still love my mom very much and feel I have done a good job caring for her. What saddens me most is that I feel that we have both been robbed of what could have been good years enjoying life together.

There is one positive legacy of all this, which is the fantastic artwork my mom produced during the years she was living in that nightmare of a house. Her artwork is all the "outside world" could see of the situation. People would have been shocked to know the truth behind it. Long after she is gone, I will look at her work with an ambivelence from knowing the truth... but I love it, just as I love her... inspite of it all.

Thank you for making the film and shedding light on this hidden subject. I look forward to seeing the show. I know it will make me feel better to know that I am not alone.

Nancy

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#18 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:20 AM EDT

{"commentId":6262244,"authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

Tamara H

Great post!!!

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#18.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 12:16 PM EDT

{"commentId":6369357,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Thank you Nancy, being a care taker has its toll, I have taken my breaks from it when I need to because ultimately you cant take care of anyone else unless you can care for yourself.

just a side note, yes it took us 10 construction dumpsters, $10,000 in dumpster fees alone!

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#18.2 - Wed Apr 8, 2009 12:14 AM EDT

{"commentId":6260206,"authorDomain":"lbrown4438"}

Linda-1004384

I have a neighbor who is a hoarder and she will not let anyone in her home. Her two-car Garage is so full that her Husband cannot walk from the inside of the house to get to the Laudry part in the Garage. He has to walk outside of the home and around the back to the side door of the Garage. If her husband throws something out, she will go out to the street and pick it back up and bring it into the house. He knows she has this problem. My concern is that her house is a Fire Hazzard and I live next door and I am disabled. My husband and I have spoken to her husband on several occassions but he has taken her to doctors etc., but it does not help. They also have a young teenage daughter that lives there that I feel so sorry for. The Mother keeps the shutters on the windows so no one can look in and their Central Air has been broken like for years. I wish some how I can get this story to her husband so he can see this and do something. It is so sad.

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#19 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:23 AM EDT

{"commentId":6260731,"authorDomain":"amy-doyle-1"}

Amy DoyleDeleted

{"commentId":6260578,"authorDomain":"finxphoto"}

Sally-1004409

Hi Cynthia.

Thank you so much for telling your story. I had no idea there were so many families struggling with this.
My mother died in 1986 and my father is 72 yrs old and has a bum leg. A couple of months ago, he had a cardiac emergency. He was faint and he had fallen in his bedroom. His house is so cluttered that he was trapped in all of the junk unable to help himself up. Luckily, he has a cell phone on his belt...but when the ambulance arrived, the paramedics couldn't get a stretcher into the house because of the clutter. He spent some time in the hospital and is much better now, but we (my siblings and I) worry about the state his house is in. My father has to leave his walker at the back door because he cannot get it through the piles of junk/stuff. He constantly collects EVERYTHING because "it may be worth something someday". He never finishes projects but is constantly starting new projects, big projects...bigger than what he can physically handle.

We recently spent an entire weekend at his house trying to sort through all of the stuff/junk/treasures in his house. In two days, we removed twenty 30gal. bags of trash and at least 5 boxes of stuff to go to Goodwill and we barely made a dent. He argued with us the whole time about what should and shouldn't be thrown away and I realized that it was a mistake to have him present during the "clean sweep".

It's hard not to yell at him when he argues. I feel bad for him because I really do think that he doesn't realize how bad things are.
I just hope I can convince him to watch your upcoming documentary. I know I will be glued to the TV.
Thank you, Thank you!!

-Sally (Michigan)

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#20 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:45 AM EDT

{"commentId":6260667,"authorDomain":"dokeeffe"}

Dan-1004419

Dear Cynthia,

Thank you for sharing your story this morning. I truly felt I was watching my own family's story play out on national television. My 86-year-old grandmother has been collecting "junk" for most of her adult life. She literally hoarded her way out of her first house, and eventually bought the house next door because she didn't have room to walk in her other one. Now, a few years later, her current house looks just like her first house (which she still owns). In fact, years earlier, her house caught fire, and the firefighters couldn't find her (asleep upstairs) to rescue her. If it wasn't for my mother and aunts insisting to the fire chief that she was indeed in the house, she would not have been saved. And upon being rescued, the fire chief told her that if the house caught fire again, he would not risk any of his people's lives to save the house or her.

The frustrating thing for our family, after struggling through these experiences, is that we cannot get our grandmother to move out of her houses or to dispose of all the junk. My mother and aunts have had her assessed by county mental health professionals, and each time we're told that she is mentally stable, and therefore they cannot force her to move out. In many ways, we feel defenseless. I will recommend your book and documentary to my family, in the hopes that we find some actionable ideas to use in our own situation.

Also, I commend you on your drive to write about your mother's situation. I've always intended to do the same, whether it be in book or play format, but have never sat down to do it. Such is the blessing and curse of founding and running a business. Oh, well. Perhaps I'll take some inspiration from you to finally achieve those goals.

I wish you much success in your pursuits with your mother. She is fortunate to have children that care so much about her and her condition.

Sincerely,

Dan

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#21 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 10:50 AM EDT

{"commentId":6260946,"authorDomain":"lorraines4187"}

Lorraine-1004442

My mother is a hoarder who has been helped with antidepressants. My son and I visited her a year ago to "clean the house" as the fire dept. deemed it a fire hazard, social services got involved and offered an ultimatum to do something or she would be removed from her home. We were able to throw away 100 large trash bags of stuff- we only scratched the surface. My mother had a hard time accepting what we were doing and I spent alot of time soothing and supporting. Six months later most of the clutter was back. She is 89. The hoarding didn't get totally out of hand until 1985 when my father died. She is now living with my sister and her husband and has restrictions on what she can keep or bring into their home. I strongly recommend anti depressants for those that it would help- it made a world of difference for my Mom and her family.

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1 vote

#22 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 11:05 AM EDT

{"commentId":6261209,"authorDomain":"threecheeses03"}

TSR12

My sister has this problem/disorder. I have tried to talk to her about it, but to no avail. How do u go about getting her help. There are only the 3 of us left, myself and my brother. He hardly talks to her anymore. I want to have a relationship with her, but it is extremely difficult. Please help need your advice.

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#23 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 11:19 AM EDT

{"commentId":6265520,"authorDomain":"amy-doyle-1"}

Amy DoyleDeleted

{"commentId":6261433,"authorDomain":"visitor1sgc"}

Candis-1004472

I wonder if that woman's daughter knows how much pain she just inflicted on her mother approaching the problem this way. She looks as if she is justifying her actions by going on the Today show with a doctor to support her actions. Does she know how awful it was of her to film her mother's horror and let the whole world see it? She doesn't appear to have suffered so much under her mother's handicap. She looks clean, healthy, well groomed and probably successful. Now she is even more successful because of this. Why would anyone think that this is a good thing to do to a woman who raised you? Her belongings were her life, and she just ripped it away from her mother. Now she will justify her actions with a book & a movie and say that this will help other people! Couldn't she think of a more loving approach and be patient?

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1 vote

#24 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 11:30 AM EDT

{"commentId":6261799,"authorDomain":"enike"}

Enike

Until you walk in her shoes, you shouldn't judge. Whether or not her mother agrees, she can not live in such unclean conditions without risk of major health problems. Cynthia is also bringing awareness to the problem rather than hiding it like a shame. Our country and much of the world treats mental illness as if it's shameful and hides it away rather than talking about it.

Also, her mother does not have a handicap -- she has a mental illness. Cynthia had to leave her home and her mother because she didn't have even a clean place to sleep. Again, do not judge her until you've been in her shoes. It's like telling a cancer patient you know how they feel when you've had nothing worse than a cold.

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#24.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 11:50 AM EDT

{"commentId":6262559,"authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

Tamara H

I am horrified by your judgement and criticizing of Cynthia, YOU obviously have not suffer as a result of your mothers mental illness. Your ignorance is displayed over and over in your post. For example, one cannot see pain simply from physical appearance. I am a forty-year old woman who has overcome getting dentures at twenty because my mother gave me a chocolate milk bottle until the age of six. I was twice-divorced by the age of twenty-four. (Just a FEW examples) CAN YOU SEE THAT IN ME? No, I appear to be educated, a good mother and a productive member of society. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, what I see is woman who is far stronger than most; does that mean she never suffered? Hardly. I wonder if you considered what it might be like to leave home at thirteen as Cynthia did. Every point you make is disturbing and suspect it is because you are a mother who struggles with a disorder and is angry at her children.

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1 vote

#24.2 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 12:32 PM EDT

{"commentId":6265157,"authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

Tamara H

Dear Candis,

Forgive me for my earlier emotional response to your post for a failed to make the most significant point: there no longer is shame in mental illness, it is a disease. Michael J. Fox and several thousand others have shared their illness with the public on behalf of education and awareness. There is no pain in physically illustrating the effects of a disease in effort to help others.

"To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge"

- BENJAMIN DISRAELI

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1 vote

#24.3 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 2:38 PM EDT

{"commentId":6271773,"authorDomain":"nehdesigns"}

Nancye24

Thank you Tamara and Enike for your responses. When I first read this post I was spitting mad and wrote a reply that I decided not to publish. As I thought about it more I came to another viewpoint similar to Tamara's thought that Candis might be a hoarder herself. My thought was that if Candis is actually an adult child of a hoarder that maybe she is either an enabler or living in denial about the situation. In the extremes that many people, including myself, have mentioned here, it is a matter of personal safety and wellbeing.

In my mother's case, the authorities never figured it out and she was able to sell her house (well, the property really) to a developer. When I went to help her move I discovered that water had been running for a long time around her electrical panel and there were several inches of water on the floor in the utility room. It's a wonder she wasn't electrocuted.

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1 vote

#24.4 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 8:53 PM EDT

{"commentId":6285755,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Dear Candis,

I hope you watch the longer version on MSNBC Sunday night, I think it will bring to light the fact that my life hasn't been easy. I left home at 13, had to raise myself, did things I'm not proud of...fortunately, got myself to college. Yes, I do look well groomed, tv hair and make-up has a way of doing that too you, haa!

On a serious side, my mom did do the best she could to take care of us and she passed down a lot of strength and knowledge I am proud to carry on. I hope you can see in the story that I do love my mother dearly and am trying to show the human side of this disease.

And yes, I wish we had more time but we were at the end of our rope, either the roof was going to cave in or the authorities would of taken the house away. I wish there was resources but again there is not much out there.

In terms of being successful, I am a waitress and I make minimum wage. We grew up on welfare and were very poor growing up. I struggle to live paycheck to paycheck and caring for my mom is something I wish I could afford. I am an artist, I have always used the camera to help me make sense of my world. My teacher gave me a camera in school and it has given me hope to rise above my difficulties and have a voice for my families plight.

To leave off on a positive note, I have gotten a few responses from psychologists and professional organizers who would like to provide assistance to my mother and our family...so there is hope out there and hopefully we are on the way to getting the help we need! Take Care, Cynthia

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#24.5 - Thu Apr 2, 2009 4:47 PM EDT

{"commentId":6334629,"authorDomain":"lcmchenry"}

Lauren-1012646

Hi Cynthia,

I'm watching My Mother's Garden right now, and I am so moved that I could not help writing you. I see so many similarities between your mom and my own mother, right down to their mannerisms and verbage. My mother has been an obsessive-compulsive hoarder ever since I can remember. When my sister and I lived at home, I guess the two of us along with our father objected vehemently enough to keep the mess somewhat at bay. The garbage never invaded our bedrooms, and she rarely picked through other peoples trash, lest she hear the dreaded tantrums of two teenage girls. Still, things were bad. We never felt free to have friends over, which stunted my social development and has left lingering problems with self confidence. It wasn't until I was an adult that I found out that my father lived in constant fear that we would be reported to social services, and that my sister and I would be put in foster care.

When my sister and I moved out, things got much worse. I guess my father was too tired to fight her any more. He passed away two years ago. Now that she has complete run of the house, her hoarding has been allowed to spiral completely out of control. Every inch of the floor is covered with trash. She digs thtough peoples garbage, and obsessively buys thngs just because they are on sale.

My sister and I are very concerned about her safety, and we also know that she's very unhappy about her current quality of life. We feel like our hands our tied. We can't force her into treatment, and we're not sure how helpful it would be to report her to social services. Everything that I have read about hoarding says that the hoarder has to clean up their mess themselves in order for them to make any long term progress and develop organiztional skills. Do you feel that your mother's condition has improved since you and your brothers cleaned out the house? What courses of treatment do you think have helped her most?

Thanks for shedding more light on this misunderstood and devastating disorder.

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#24.6 - Mon Apr 6, 2009 2:39 AM EDT

{"commentId":6334644,"authorDomain":"lcmchenry"}

Lauren-1012646

She didn't suffer as a result of her mother's handicap? Her mother let her move out at the age of 13 because she was unable to throw out the trash that covered the poor kid's bed! I was raised by a hoarder, but I never had it that bad, thankfully.

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#24.7 - Mon Apr 6, 2009 2:42 AM EDT

{"commentId":6337670,"authorDomain":"magnolia1rose"}

KSonya

Cynthia was rescuing her mother from herself in the best way she could. It was imperitive to do so. I can see how a woman as this alone might be taken advantage of by passing strangers with devastating effects. I found Cyntia very compassionate with a soothing presence. Her mother was fortunate to have her daughter help her. By giving to others when in the rehab center, her mother expressed joy while serving the bedridden lady a meal. That was a healing stop for her. Cynthia also captured the magical presence of her mother. There is pain in letting go but when we are freed of an excess of stuff we experience our power.

{"commentId":6337670,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"magnolia1rose"}

#24.8 - Mon Apr 6, 2009 10:55 AM EDT

{"commentId":6261765,"authorDomain":"lukas1932"}

Louise-1004500

Dear Cynthia,
You have my sympathies and I look forward to see the program this Sunday. I went through perhaps a worse scenario with my mother - complicated by the tragic death of my brother and the fact that unknowingly she was developing Alzheimer's. For years she made excuses about her collecting, and I made excuses for her attributing it to her being a 'child of the Depression.' The only thing that helped was she hoarded money along with everything else, as I had to use that to clean out her house, move her, take care of her and finally place her in a home. (She's 94 now). But my family resents it all, as rightly so they feel it stole more than 10 years of my life. I believe hoarding is often a preamble to Alzheimer's, and i think both ar genetic and I fear I will travel down the same path.

I could especially relate to the scene when she retrns to the house (shown on Today). It sounded just liek my mother everytime we thought she'd be happy about our organizational progress.

Good luck to you - and watch your Mom carefully to be sure she doesn't have or is getting Alzheimer's... another disease with no cure, just coping.

{"commentId":6261765,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"lukas1932"}

#25 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 11:48 AM EDT

{"commentId":6262707,"authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

Tamara H

I have taken care of three family members, one of which was my mother. Every one of them displayed some of the exact same compulsive behaviors and the eldest who recently passed, (in my arms) was diagnosed Alzheimer's. I STRONGLY agree with your theory of the mental illness and Alzheimer connection and I suspect there is evidence to support it.

Thanks for sharing your story with us all.

THANKS AGAIN TO CYNTHIA

{"commentId":6262707,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"tamrahun"}

1 vote

#25.1 - Wed Apr 1, 2009 12:38 PM EDT

{"commentId":6285912,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Thank you Tamara for understanding. It's hard to explain the whole situation articulately in just a few minutes but hopefully it will bring some more attention to this problem.

{"commentId":6285912,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#25.2 - Thu Apr 2, 2009 4:55 PM EDT

{"commentId":6285976,"authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

Cynthialester

Yes Louise,

In some cases there are connections to Alzheimer's or other disorders (dementia, even eating disorders) I will watch out for it in my mom. She is still quite young 64, but in her case she has also been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.

{"commentId":6285976,"threadId":"543147","contentId":"2623512","authorDomain":"Mymothersgarden"}

#25.3 - Thu Apr 2, 2009 4:59 PM EDT

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